Justice!!
The ultra-conservative Captain Super (played by Pat McMahon) was the resident hero who couldn’t punch his way out of a giant paper bag, a stunt they did more than once on the show. He would often attempt feats of strength such as tearing an Ajo phone book in half (for those not aware, Ajo is a very small town in southern Arizona ). In the beginning, Captain Super was summoned by Wallace who waved a magic wand and shouted the secret word, “Justice!” Supe, as Ladmo called him, would then leap into view from a hidden table accompanied by the sound of a passing jet. Captain Super was always ready to protect Arizona children from communists. He kept his mother, Mom Super, locked in a trailer in the backyard (“I give her a key a couple of times a year!”)

Captain Super’s costume may have changed over the years, but his message to “all the little duffers out there” remained the same: “I’m the greatest human being who ever lived. Now bye-bye, and bless you!”

I was a big fan of Captain Super. I could identify with his overblown self-image (I still can). But I think the funniest bit he did was when he came on and promised to show off his strength by tearing a phone book in half, only to produce a company phone directory or something which was about 15 pages thick. Of course, he couldn’t tear that in half, either. Genius.

- Gary H.

Captain Super and I have a long history. I loved it when Pat had the costume in ASU [Arizona State University] colors. Wallace would wave the magic wand, shout ‘Justice!’ and the Captain would fly in. At school my friend would tell me that Captain Super was a fake. It was very upsetting. It was very strange when Captain Super’s costume changed to the red, white and blue. That’s when [football] coach Frank Kush came out from ASU and asked for the return of the shoulder pads.

-Howard M.

Captain Super: Hello, Arizona . . . well, most of Arizona. All except Scottsdale. I won’t say hello to Scottsdale.

Wallace: Why not Scottsdale?

Captain Super: Scottsdale was rude to Captain Super.

Wallace: What happened?

Captain Super: I got picked up for dressing funny.

Wallace: Tell us about it.

Captain Super: Someone called Hero Stop and had me arrested.

Wallace: That’s right. In Scottsdale, there’s a city ordinance against a hero wearing pantyhose.

Captain Super: Leotards! Circus tights! Not pantyhose.

Wallace: Well, anyway, you got arrested. How’d it go in court?

Captain Super: Thirty days and a $1000 fine, or compulsory attendance at a Scottsdale Jaycee meeting.

Wallace: Which did you take?

Captain Super: I didn’t know any better, so I went to the Jaycees meeting.

Wallace: What happened?

Captain Super: They threw bread rolls at me. Not muffins, but the hard dinner rolls. And you want to hear the worst part?

Wallace: Yes?

Captain Super: They were all dressed funny in cowboy hats and nobody arrested them.

Wallace: There’s no justice.

Captain Super: Read all about it in the February – March issue of Captain Super Comics. Captain Super versus the Scottsdale Jaycees. On your neighborhood newsstands soon. Bye – bye, and bless you!

Wallace on Captain Super (2007)

Captain Super on Aliens: