“Did you know . . . ?”
. . . preceded the musings of the mysterious, fast-talking, all-knowing
Wizard (played by Pat McMahon)!! He would entertain with a series
of little-known facts that we really could have lived without.
you know that the Star-Spangled Banner sung backwards explains
the decline of the buffalo?”
- "Did you know that horses play people shoes?"
- "Did you know that animals eat people crackers?"
- "Did you know that a loser is a stow away on the Titanic?"
- "Did you know that killer whales are not killers, the only evidence against them is circumstantial?
It's a miscarriage of justice."
- Did you know that the boll weevil's think cotton is yucky but are crazy about gin?"
- "Did you know that the Kiwi bird of New Zeland weighs four pounds and lays a five pound egg?
But not very often and then only if you use a whip."
- "Did you know that Ben Franklin flew a kite in a thunder storm and discovered the flu?"
- "Did you know that Great Bend Montana is not Great nor does it Bend?"
See, things like that.
The sets never seemed to have been designed with the Wizard’s
large conical hat in mind, prompting many a head-first entrance
Wallace talks about the Wizard:
The Wizard was one-dimensional.
He just came in and did one-liners . . . The hardest [to
write for] was the Wizard. To sit
there and come up with 12 one-liners is rather difficult.
-from an interview in 2002
Ladmo: Hey Gang, it’s the Wizard!!
Wizard: Did you know. . . that a tired kangaroo
of bounds? Did you know . . . that Ollie Bortel developed
a health food called Vitamo, guaranteed to give one a long,
vigorous life? Just one box a day and a person would live to
a ripe old age. Ollie himself ate twelve boxes a day and exploded
at age 28.
Ladmo: Isn’t that something?
Wizard: Did you know . . . that the deadly piranha fish can
smell its prey fifteen miles away? Unfortunately, it can only swim
fourteen and a half miles before it dies of malnutrition and exhaustion.
Ladmo: Sounds fishy to me.
Wizard: Did you know . . . when King Kong passed away all 300
pallbearers strained themselves?
Ladmo: You don’t say!
Wizard: Did you know . . . that
Louisa Belden of Superior, Arizona, after hearing any speech or lecture could memorize it and repeat
it word for word? She mysteriously lost this amazing gift shortly
after watching this show.
Ladmo: One more, one more!
Wizard: Did you know . . . the rarest language in the world
is Carthinian? It is only spoken by Elmo Bleemis, an elderly gentleman
residing in Buckeye. This very same old man was recently thrown
out of Harold’s Café in Buckeye for babbling incoherently.
Ladmo: Thank you, Wizard!!